Let it go..
And no I don’t mean the snow queen song everyone knows and “loves”! Have you ever found yourself trying to control EVERYTHING in life? I am a control freak. And that doesn’t always mean neat or tidy or organized. In my case it means I will do almost anything to get control over specifically things that cannot be controlled in any way shape or form.
As humans, we get told constantly to live our best lives, never let anything get in our way, dream big dreams and you can accomplish anything! While I wholeheartedly love these motivational phrases, they’re blanket statements and are missing a great deal of detail and ‘fine print’…
I find myself in a constant struggle of taking my choices, actions, feelings and opinions into my own hands rather than giving all of it up to God. It’s hard! Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying I should ask God what I should eat for breakfast.. but see that’s the difference. I have control over what I eat.. what I DON’T have control of is what my hubby eats! As much as i wish we liked the same food, we just plain don’t.. so believe me trying to prepare dinner for kids, myself and Andy can be difficult! But in a deeper sense.. I don’t have control over what he says, what he does, how he treats me and how he behaves. I don’t have control over his actions or thoughts or intentions.
My mom used to tell me constantly when I was faced with bullies, brothers, catty friends, frustrating teachers what have you, that you cannot change them, you can only change yourself. It’s so simple yet SOOO difficult to actually carry out. But that’s what God love looks like. Let your light shine so that they might see your good works.
I have the hardest time biting my tongue when someone crosses me. I’m a fighter. But imagine a scenario when I’m crossed and I choose to bite my tongue and respond with love, kindness and respect? Sometimes just by doing the right thing, we invoke a sense of right and wrong in others, to where ideally they feel led to do the right thing as well. Much like a chain reaction! If I changed my attitude and I control only the things I know how, then maybe just maybe someone will respond the same way.
Another form of “control” I battle with constantly is things that happen randomly by chance. This could hit home with many of you in several different ways, whether a death, losing a job, illness, losing a home, any sort of disaster that might hit.. I’m going to just give a personal example and I hope to explain in a way that everyone could relate, even if you’ve never experienced this.
Over this summer my parents, who’ve been married 36 years, separated in what seemed almost out of no where (for myself).
There was no infidelity, physical abuse, substance abuse in any way. Just very personal issues. Everything in me wants to freak out and tell them both exactly how I feel and how I believe they’re each sinning and making poor decisions.. and tell them how they AREN’T doing what they’re called to do as believers and followers of Christ. I want to tell them they’re hurting us kids. And grandkids! I want to lose it!!! WHY?!?! ….but how on earth is that my calling… how on earth is this being Christ like myself? It’s not. I have NO control over my parents relationship. I have NO control over their actions and decisions. I simple have to let it go… it’s hard!! It is SO hard to let go of the things we love so dearly and hold close. Ultimately it is GOD’s will only. Not mine. All I am called to do is to love and be compassionate. That doesn’t mean I can’t speak my mind, but whenever I do it MUST be to bring glory to God in everything that comes from my mouth.
In a similar sense, from 2015-2017 me and Andy struggled with fertility prior to conceiving Wilder. Talk about a true test of faith and patience. Andy can attest, and many other mothers who struggled as well.. I tried to do everything humanly possible to control pregnancy.. when how.. where… what I ate.. how I worked out… what I drank.. supplements I took. No amount of anything could change how and when we would have a second baby. All of this i have mentioned in prior posts, so i wont bore you again with that story! But that was a prime example of truly FORCING myself to let it go and completely give it into the hands of the Father. I had to pray constantly “Your timing, not mine. I know. Please help me to let it go and trust you please!” I ached to just find peace. Even if it meant waiting another year I just yearned for rest from the heartache and pain.. in no way will you ever truly be able to let your struggles go however without calling on the Father for help. We were never meant to do it alone.
I think what excites me the most about the concept of letting go of worries, pain, stress, anxiety, heartache and more is what this portrays to the people around us. Theres something that radiates in positive people. I find myself drawn to those who always find a way to live in high spirits and find joy amidst their storms. I use the phrase “it excites me” because what better way to spread the gospel than to wear the armor of God through all of life’s struggles. People who fight through horrible times with a proud strong positive and bright spirit makes others interested in what THEY have.. THAT excites me that just by letting go and trusting God, we can quite possibly interest people in what God could provide for them too!
Please.. whatever you’re going through. Whatever you’re feeling or whatever in causing you hurt and pain.. let it go.. find freedom and peace knowing that God is in control. And some day it will all make sense.
